Our Feelings are Hidden
by Ianto The Tea Boy
Summary: When Ianto gets knocked into a coma during a routine mission, Owen begins to doubt himself and his feelings for the tea boy.
1. Civil ghosts

**_Okay,so this is my first fic of Ianto/Owen so be nice:) I was originally Love is a Mayer but that began to get to crowded so I created this one. Well, hope you like and please review, they make my day:D_**

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Ianto gripped the metal canister roughly as he crouched down near Owen. The medical doctor was busy frantically typing away at his laptop, eager to get done with the mission and Ianto.

"Hurry up, Owen. They're coming!" He yelled, glancing over his shoulder as two badly wounded civil war soldiers began limping towards them.

"Just shut up, Ianto! I can't think with you breathing down my bloody neck." Owen replied angrily, his voice echoing sharply off the linoleum walls of the abandoned hospital.

"Excuse me for panicking then. It's not like I value my life or anything."

Owen sniggered a moment as he finished typing in the passcode. "Close your eyes." He murmured before hitting the big red button on the metal canister.

With a starry, blinding light, the canister made a whooshing sound as it took care of the two ghosts. And with a groaning cry a few moments later, the light blinked out, leaving the two men alone in the empty room.

"Well, that wasn't so bad."

Ianto smirked, getting off the ground. "Yeah, just a –"he began before being knocked down by one of the ghosts, a burly guy; how could they have missed it?

"Shit." Owen breathed as he ran over to the two men wrestling. "Ianto, hold on a moment. I'm going to get rid of the damned bastard, just hold on." He said, running to grab the canister off the floor, quickly pressing the red button.

Within seconds, the civil war soldier that had been strangling Ianto dissipated into the air, leaving the room silently as the Welshman collapsed onto the ground.

Owen practically fell over his feet as he ran to his partner's side. Once he got a full look at the guy, Owen knew something was deadly wrong. With practiced precision, Owen checked for a pulse, breathing slightly easier when he felt one, and then moved on to the eyes. Opening the left lid first, he scanned the pupils.

"Oh fuck." He muttered when he noticed the slight dilation. "What the hell did it do?" Owen yelled loudly when he noticed the same thing in the other eye.

With a snarky laugh that only half hid his fear, Owen tapped his comms quickly. "Jack…Jack I need your help. Ianto-he's…he's-"

"He's what, Owen?" Jack snapped.

"Well," Owen began, opening Ianto's eyes up again. "He's in a coma, Jack. He got attacked and now he won't wake up."

"What do you mean he won't wake up, Owen? What's going on, I don't understand."

Owen breathed out deeply, adverting his eyes. "Just come and see for yourself." He whispered.

"Okay, I'll be there in five. Don't move."

"I don't have any choice, now do I?" Owen sniggered, tapping his comms off as he took up a seat next to the unconscious body. "What have you done now you bloody idiot?" He murmured into the air as he waited.


	2. Uncertainty

**_This chapter is very short, but I'm thinking of making them all a little short so I can update faster, though not this short(wow, that sounded confusing) Anyways, I'll try making the upcoming one's longer. Enjoy and don't forget to review:)_**

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The team, minus their tea boy, was assembled in the autopsy room, overlooking the table that held Ianto.

"What's happened to him?" Tosh gasped.

"We don't know. As of this moment, Owen says he's in a comatose like state, suspended between reality and nothingness. He can hear us and respond to our questions by moving his fingers, but it's very subtle." Jack replied with a frown. "It's like he's stuck in between worlds."

"Well," Gwen piped up. "How do we fix this, Jack?" She asked, directing the comment at the Welshman's ex-boyfriend.

"We don't, or at least we can't. Now right now, anyway from how it's looking. It's best to just wait these kinds of things out, let it run its course."

Tosh looked between Owen and Jack as she blinked rapidly. "How did this even happen? I thought he was just hunting ghosts, not battling a demon."

Owen set down the clipboard with Ianto's information as he looked at the body with disdain. "I don't even know, Tosh. One minute we were completely alone, and then the next Ianto was being attacked by a civil war ghost. It was happening to fast for me to see."

"But ghosts just don't…attack people, right? They're dead, so how could they hurt Ianto?"

This time, Jack was the one to answer as he rubbed his eyes. "We're thinking that the rift supplied the ghost with just enough juice to become solid so he attacked. Though, somehow he accidently pulled Ianto in between worlds without even knowing."

"And it's all my fault! If I'd been paying fucking attention then Ianto wouldn't be stuck!" Owen shouted angrily as he kicked the autopsy table. "He's blind somewhere where we can't find him, alone and afraid all because of me!"

"Owen, It's going to be alright." Jack reasoned, stepping over to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"You're hilarious, Jack. But this time you can't say things are going to be all right because they're not! Ianto's not coming back, not anymore." Owen barked.

"Yes he will. Ianto's more resilient then you give him credit for, you know."

"Fuck off." Owen snapped, wrenching his shoulder back from Jack's grasp as he stocked out towards the cog door.

"Where are you going?" Gwen asked.

"Out." Owen replied simply. "I want to shag someone who'll keep their mouth _shut_." He finished before walking to the main lift


	3. Tears

**_Sorry yet again for the short chapter,but I promise you the next one will be lengthy. I don't have nearly enough time to write anymore since I started school, what with all my a.p classes:/_**

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Owen ran. He swallowed his pride and ran away from the hub, from the people that would help him. It was too much for his brain to handle at the moment and beer would just make it all worse, so he settled on running.

As he made his way down towards an empty roadside, the crushing realization that Ianto was never coming back hit him full force, crippling him until he couldn't breathe. It was all his fault that the one person who didn't look at him like he was a disappointment was in agony, all because of his mistake. No wonder his mom kicked him out on his eighteenth birthday, he was nothing but a failure.

As Owen folded himself into a ball, rocking back and forth as sobs racked his body, he felt a pair of strong arms encompass his chest.

Owen looked up into the face of his captain. "Jack…I don't want to lose him." He sobbed.

Jack shifted his hold on Owen. "I don't want to lose him either, Owen. I loved him…I still do sometimes. And it's killing me to know that he's trapped in between worlds, not knowing where he is."

"Is there a way to save him?" Owen asked in between hiccups.

"I don't know, Owen. I honestly don't know. I've never seen anything like this before, and it scares me to death."

The medic closed his eyes as he allowed Jack to rock him back in forth. "There's got to be a way, Jack! I'm not letting him go like this, not now, not when…"

"Not when, what?" Jack prodded after a moment of silence.

"Not when I caused this to happen." Owen supplied, feeling a tug at his heart.

"Well," Jack began. "We can both sit here and cry about it or we can go back and support Ianto while he's in a coma. There's not much else in the way of help, but being there for him is all we have left."

Owen shook under Jack's hand, a silent trail of tears running down his cheek for his fallen comrade. "Okay…okay we'll do that but don't speak of this to anyone or I'll cut off your knee caps, got it?"

The captain chuckled lightly, glad to have the old Owen back. "I've heard my knee caps are one of my better features." He laughed.

"You and everybody else." He muttered, untangling himself from Jack. "I'm going to head home for a bit before I get back to work. Think you'll be okay without Ianto trailing after you every second?"

"Don't forget I've travelled the whole universe all by myself, Owen. I think I'm capable enough working alone for a few hours without blowing something up."

Owen sniggered. "Yeah, let's see how long that lasts, mate." He barked as he turned on his heel, wiping away the tears.


	4. Open Your Eyes

**_First off, let me say how sorry I am that I took so long to post this chapter:/ I had a serious case of writer's block and school, so it took a little longer. Though, the length of this chapter I hope will make up for it:) And does anyone else fancy John/Jack? Or is it just me, because they are an amazing couple! I might put them in this story if it all works out;)_**

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Despite having broken down not even ten hours ago, Owen strolled through the cog door that morning skipping and humming merrily. He was dressed in his usual light grey jumper and leather jacket, accompanied with his cargo pants. A fresh smile was plastered onto his face as he claimed a seat by his desk.

"Someone looks happy." Gwen sniggered. "Fun night out at the bar?"

"Oh, very fun night, actually. I shagged three ladies in only two hours." He replied smugly.

Both of them missed the way Tosh's smile fell at the mention of Owen's 'night out', but then again, she had practice at hiding it. "So, have you checked up on Ianto yet?" Tosh asked.

Owen's smile fell quickly at the mention of Ianto. He removed his feet from off the top of his desk and got out of his chair. "No, I _didn't_, but thanks for reminding me." He growled.

"Owen, can I talk to you for a moment." Jack's voice echoed in the small area.

"What did you do this time, Owen?" Gwen joked. "Shagged Ianto by mistake?"

With a crack, Owen slammed his chair roughly into his desk, causing Tosh and Gwen to jump up in surprise. "Shut you fucking mouth, Gwen, before I shut it for you." He growled darkly before stalking off towards Jack's office.

Though, once he got there, Owen couldn't find the will to move his feet the extra inches they needed to in order to talk to his captain. It was all too sudden for him; Gwen's twisted jokes, Tosh's roaming eyes, and the crushing wave of guilt that assaulted him whenever he looked towards the medical bay. This wasn't supposed to happen; he wasn't the weak one who cried when something didn't go right.

He was the strong one, the one who stayed calm in these types of situations, so why? Why was it so bloody hard to see straight whenever Ianto's name was on someone else's lips?

He needed to fix this, no matter what; he had to do something, if not for himself, then for Ianto's sake. But yelling at Jack wouldn't help a damn thing, so he was going to have to behave just a little longer.

Taking a deep, calming breath, Owen waited a moment before pushing the office door wide open.

"Can't you ever knock?" Jack joked as he watched Owen stroll in.

"Nope." He replied, popping the p for emphasis.

"Do you know why I called you hear?" Jack asked, changing the subject rather quickly.

"Not really, but I have a feeling you're going to enlighten."

With a small gesture from his captain, Owen sighed and took one of the offered seats. "Sooooo, what'd you want to talk to me about?" He asked defensively playing with one of Jack's feather tipped pens.

"Are you okay, Owen?" Jacked asked rather abruptly.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, for starters, you did just break down on some vacant street not even nine hours ago, and now, for some odd reason, you're acting as if it never happened; like you're choosing to forget instead of forgive."

"What can I say," Owen laughed. "I bounce back fast."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Really?" He prodded.

"Yeah, really. I meant it when I said we were better off without him, Jack. It's not the end of the world because our tea boy might be dieing alone, you know? He was just the bloody butler for God's sake; everyone' always acting as if he was something better. "

Owen was lying through his teeth and Jack knew it. He could act like the big tough villain all he wanted, but anyone could see that it was eating him up; acting as if he despised the very ground Ianto walked on. Though, Jack would never tell Owen this, he still had to make it clear to the medic that he didn't like anyone disrespecting his ex-lover.

Before Owen could even register anything, Jack was on him, punching him roughly in the mouth.

"What the _hell_ are you doing, Jack?!" He asked between punches.

"If you _ever_ talk about Ianto like he doesn't exist, like he isn't one of us, then I'll skin you alive, Harper. Got that?" Jack growled.

"Open your fucking eyes, Jack! You're acting like a total nutter over some bloody guy who's only been here a year! What happens when we all die, huh? You gonna pick a fight with the next person you see, because you don't like the cards dealt out to you? Well, hate to break it to you big guy, but that's not how it _works_." Owen roared, shoving uselessly against Jack.

"No, Owen. _You _open _your_ eyes for a change! You don't see what's right in front of you because you choose to ignore it; it's scary and frightening so you choose to turn the other way! But you can't this time, Owen, because there's someone out there who needs you, so straighten up and start acting like a man."

Jack gave Owen three more, successful punches to the face before he let the poor guy go. "I don't know what happened to you, Owen, but you'd better fix it if you want to keep this job, and Ianto." Jack scolded as he got up off of the medic who was nursing a swollen face.

"Asshole!" He yelled at the retreating figure of Captain Jack. With a pained grunt, Owen swung himself onto his stomach as he picked himself up. Everything was going wrong; it wasn't supposed to be this way. Jack was supposed to be proud of him for taking care of the ghosts, and Ianto should've bee awake and happy, making tea for all the Torchwood's employees. But nothing was that simple in this world, so with pain coursing through his veins, Owen slammed his fists into Jack's desk, hoping to take his mind off of everything.

"I don't know what you want me to _do_." Owen sobbed painfully, tears streaming down his cheeks in fast rivulets. "Please, someone tell me!"


	5. No more fighting

**_Well, here's another semi long chapter for you guys:) I want to thank everyone who has reviewed thus far. It has literally made my day seeing how many of you like this, and it's kept me going through the writing process, so thank you!^_^ And don't forget to review and enjoy:)_**

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Jack, with his steadfast mind, had somehow gotten Owen's broken down spirit to kick start itself. He had somehow known the right words to say, the right words to finally get Owen to open his damn eyes for a change. But once they were open, he wanted to close them forever because he saw things that were horrifying, that he cried himself to sleep over, things in the dark corners of his mind. It reached out for him every day, threatening to drag him under for good; crushing him against all the grief and terror that his body could handle. And sometimes, just sometimes, when it became too much to handle, there was that one thought that hung in the corner of his mind.

If he jumped into the darkness, let it swallow him whole completely until there was nothing left, then maybe it would all go away and he would be fine. But every time he stepped onto the edge, his eyes snapped shut against the wind, there was always that light out there that stopped him just before he fell away.

And he felt so stupid for finally realizing who that one bright light was; the one that always saved him from himself. But now, who would save _his_ light from the darkness?

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Owen didn't know what he'd see when he got down to the medical bay a few minutes later. For all he knew, Ianto could've died over night, his body decomposing until it was just skin and bones, or worse.

Hell, anything could've happened to the guy and nobody would've even known because they were so wrapped up in their own little worlds, especially him.

Thankfully though, when Owen descended the stairs into the medic area, Ianto hadn't changed at all, albeit slightly paler, and fragile, but okay all the same.

"Oh, Ianto." Owen moaned as he ran to the tea boy's side. "Why won't you wake up?" He whispered sitting next to the body. Everything was wrong, so wrong and he couldn't do a damned thing to fix any of it. It was all his fault that Ianto was in a coma; if he had been watching his surroundings for any other ghosts then this wouldn't have happened. But why…

Taking a deep breath, Owen looked to make sure the coast was clear before he reached over, taking Ianto's stiff hand in his own. "I'm such a bloody ass, Ianto. Everyone hates me because of this and I don't know why. And maybe…I hate me too." Owen laughed bitterly at the irony of it all.

Carefully dropping his head down by his chest, Owen took a deep breath, tears shining in his eyes. He was lucky everyone had went out on their breaks already, because there was no telling what they'd say and he wasn't really in the mood to answer them, anyways.

"You know," Owen began quietly. "I never really hated you, Ianto. There wasn't a time when I felt like you were too much for me. I mean…" Owen stopped and ran a frustrated hand through his short brown hair. "God, I'm bad at this stuff." He blew out angrily. "Ianto, I…I…I love you! There, I said it, happy?"

Owen's brown eyes raked the lifeless body moving with each breath under the nylon blanket. Ianto looks so much younger when he's sleeping, like a little boy with no care in the world, Owen thought sadly as he ran a hand through Ianto's hair. "Come back." He murmured, hoping that Ianto would hear.

When the body didn't move, Owen began to feel his heart drop. He had to hear him; Ianto had to know that he was there to save him. Ianto wasn't supposed to be the one in the dark!

"Ianto! Come on, wake up…please!" Owen begged, kicking back his seat as he shook Ianto's body roughly. "You're not allowed to leave me, you bloody sod! You're supposed to save me from this, not let me give in! Ianto! Ianto!"

It was a sight to behold, if anyone had been their watching. The mighty Owen Harper, defeated by a man in a coma. The doctor stood there, helplessly shaking the body of Ianto, crying a stream of tears as he shouted hysterically. "I know you can hear me you selfish bastard! I know you can…." Owen paused between deep breaths as he punched Ianto's face. "…hear me you bastard!"

Owen shoved the body once more as he collapsed tiredly on top of it, his head resting on Ianto's stomach. "Who's going to save you this time? Who's going to pull you out of that dark place, tea boy? Because I've run out of reasons to."


	6. Horrible friend

**_This chapter made me cry a little bit, to be truthful. I've had enough of that with the Angels Take Manhattan episode of Doctor Who:( I miss Rory and Amy. Anyways,enjoy and please review^-^_**

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Tosh and Gwen were the first to walk into the hub the next day, Jack sulkily trailing behind them. Each went to their respective desks and started in on the day's work. Jack saluted the two girls before he went to his office to do what he did best; save the world.

It was half past one when Jack finally came out of his office, a serious look on his perfect face.

"Hey, where's Owen." He demanded, walking down the stairs towards Gwen's area.

"He's probably passed out drunk somewhere." She suggested. "You know how he is. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. No need to worry, Jack. He's gotten here later than this before, you know. Remember when that bar closed down last year? He cried himself to sleep repeatedly over it."

"Yeah," Jack began, feeling a nagging sensation in the back of his mind. He was the only that knew what had transpired between Owen that night on the loan road, and no matter how many times Owen yelled it at him, Jack knew there was no way the medic was over the pain of Ianto's accident. He knew how long it took to heal a broken heart, how long it took to glue the shattered pieces back together before you were okay, and by no means was Owen okay. In his state of mind, Owen would do anything…anything to escape the pain, to make it go away.

"But let's look around just to be sure. Tosh check all the surveillance cams from the past twenty four hours. If you see Owen leaving at all, tell me." He turned towards Gwen, pointing a finger at her. "And Gwen, I want you to check every room here just to make sure he didn't get ambushed, got it?"

"Yeah, but Jack, I'm pretty sure he's at his house." Gwen stated, confused as she got out of her chair. "You're worrying over nothing."

"You can never be too sure." He muttered helping Tosh scan the computers since Ianto wasn't there to assist her.

Gwen made a face at Jack's back before she turned on her heel, aimlessly checking every corner of the hub for any sign of Owen. Just to give Jack some satisfaction, and for a cheap laugh, Gwen put much more work into lifting up boxes and peering under them then she had to, calling out Owen's name.

"Oh, Oooooowennnn! Come out, come out wherever you are!" Gwen sang gleefully at the top of her lungs. "I'm going to go check in the medical bay. Maybe he's experimenting on Ianto's remains while he's still alive." She joked, skipping towards Owen's area.

"One day I'm going to-"Jack began, but was immediately cut off by Gwen's yelling.

"Jack! Jack, I found him!"

Tosh and the captain exited the camera videos before they both ran towards the medical bay, eager to see what had happened. They made their way to the top of the stairs, glancing at Gwen who was ushering them to be quiet. She had a finger to her lips, pointing towards the medical table on her right.

Tosh and Jack looked at each other before they inched their way quietly down the stairs, glancing, where Gwen was pointing, with surprise.

Ianto was where he had been for the past two days, lying motionless and stiff on the cold medical slab, his chest rising and falling with every breath. Though, resting his head adorably on the tea boy's stomach was Owen Harper. He was cuddling the Welsh man, something he'd never ever do if he had been conscious of it. Owen's arms were wrapped, as much as they would go, around Ianto's waist; his face buried into the soft grey t-shirt Ianto had been wearing.

And even though Ianto was in a coma, trapped in nothingness, there was a tiny smile of contentment on his face as Owen snuggled in deeper, breathing heavier.

"What the…" Tosh stammered with a look of disbelief on her face.

"It looks like Owen Harper has a heart after all." Gwen laughed. "I never thought he'd go for Ianto, though."

Tosh was the first one to move. "We have to wake them up, guys! Owen doesn't know what he's doing, that's all!" She cried hysterically.

Moving quickly, Tosh scampered towards the sleeping pair with fierce concentration on her face. She was dead set on waking Owen so that he could see the situation he was in. He wasn't gay, of that she was sure.

But before she could shake the medic awake, Jack was yanking her back by her hand.

"Stop, Tosh! You don't want to do that. Not to Owen, anyways." He whispered in her ear as he dragged her back to the stairs.

"What do you mean?!" She yelled with tears falling down her cheek. "He's asleep for God's sake, Jack! I _know_ Owen and he isn't like this, he doesn't like men! I …I just have to…wake him up and then he'll see!"

"See what, Tosh!? That his life is total shit and the one person who he can count on is slowly dying in his grasp? Let him have this one moment, okay? Let him have _one_ single moment where he's happy and everything is okay, just once, because I can guarantee that when he wakes up, his world will come crashing down on him, so _please_ just let them have this one moment."

Tosh bucked violently, trying to get out of Jack's iron grasp. With a final, defeated cry, she stopped resisting and leaned into her captor, sobbing loudly. "I'm so horrible, Jack! How could I've not see this coming? I tell everyone that Owen and I are soul mates, and yet I know nothing about him. What kind of a friend am I to be judging him so harshly?"

Jack didn't say anything, didn't judge Tosh in any way as he rocked her back and forth, letting her get everything she needed to off her chest.

"Maybe we should do this somewhere else." Gwen piped up after a couple of minutes. "Tosh's crying is waking Owen up."

Jack and Tosh looked up in surprise when they heard ruffling coming from the medic table.

"Oh shit." Jack muttered when he turned to see two very angry brown eyes fixed on him.


End file.
